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Monday, June 13, 2011

The Unknown: The Pit of Possibilities

Suffering is something we don’t like to feel. We avoid it. We mask it. We curse God for it. Suffering is a mystery to us. Sometimes we are the source or our suffering, and often we are subjected to it by factors we do not control.

When I am the cause of my own misery, I often avoid the fact that in actuality I have control over the situation. My pride gets in the way and so does my insecurity. First I have to admit that it’s my fault, then I have to drag myself (painfully) out of the mud and continue into the Unknown where there might be joy or suffering, but I will no longer be the making of it. The Unknown is a scary place for most people. The familiar, even if it’s no good is comforting in a twisted way, at least you know what you are getting. Whether it be a job, relationship, habit or attitude that weighs your heart down more often than not you have more control over the situation than you think.

In high school, I was painfully shy. I felt like a didn’t fit in and even though I desperately wanted to try out for plays I just didn’t know how to go about it and I did not know how to ask for help. If I could talk to myself back then I would NOT say, “take control and just do it and talk to people, it’s easy!” But I would tell myself to start taking small steps toward the kind of person I wanted to be: open and confident.

There is the temptation to say, “Well, that’s just me and I guess I’ll just be miserable.” It is an easy way to shoot yourself in the foot. Most likely if you are painfully shy you will not become a quick-witted stand up comedian, but you may learn to be at ease and joyful in others’ company. I say this because in college and especially after college I said, “screw it I’m breaking down these walls even if I make an ass of myself," and I ended up in a lead role in a play and making really wonderful friends at events where I knew just about no one. It was liberating… imagine if I hadn’t tried. It’s a cliché statement to say shoot for the moon because even if you don’t make it you’ll land on a star, but it’s really true. Don’t let the fear of failure control you.

Funny, I played Alice in that play. So thematically appropriate.

But what if I fail? You might, but you also might not. The likelihood that you’ll succeed immediately rises the moment you decide to try.

I spent forever trying to drag myself out of a relationship because I would look over the Pit of the Unknown and say that my situation wasn’t that bad. It was familiar and maybe might work out… maybe. When I realized that if I stayed it would never work out I jumped head first into a black pit of a million possibilities. I gave myself a shot at lasting joy instead of no shot at all. It seems like a no brainer, but unless you love yourself a decision like that can be near impossible. I think the most singular people I know are the ones who throw themselves into the Unknown regularly for the sake of something awesome.


So do it. Dream big. Don’t settle.

When suffering comes along the way look up at a crucifix and join your suffering with His. You are part of His Body and your suffering will not be in vain. His resurrection is yours as well. I didn't mean to be all preachy at the end but I know of no other way to endure pain joyfully.

Peace my friends,
Fabi

Thursday, June 2, 2011

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 2)


-1-



I'm obsessed with the 80's TV show version of Beauty and The Beast. Linda Hamilton is the beauty, which took a little getting used (if you've seen Terminator 2 you understand), and guess who's the Beast? Dun dun dun... Ron Perlman... who I always prefer as something other than human. It's sad but the Beast and Hellboy are hard to compete with.

-2-
I'm giving my first real talk ever at a retreat this weekend. I have to stand up and speak for like ten minutes. I was the child that called in sick when we had to give speeches at school. I'm excited anyways. I'm going to talk about what happens when we share our faith with others and how often our agendas are different than God's.

-3-

I entered a Disney Contest to win a trip to Disney World :D All I had to do was draw a fairy in a spring outfit. If I can't win this I'll probably never win anything.

-4-

I joined my local YMCA. Swimming it's been so long. I have missed you!

-5-

BadCatholic is writing about Liturgy because I asked him too! Double Hurray! Read his first entry here

-6-

My family is the best. Meet my mom, aunt and grandma.



-7-

Another jewel, who knew that behind those bespeckled glasses is such refreshing and concise teaching? I mean I heard about it, but now I know what all the fuss is about.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Some Good

Small, battered, humble-breasted.
Prideful, loyal and selfish.
By all accounts I am a twisted face,
Contorted by desire, smoothed by grace.

Loved, neglected, ever-burdened
Oh shadows that surround me!
By all accounts I am a twisted face,
Contorted by desire, smoothed by grace.

Ugly, desperate, hopeful,
Shivering as darkness pricks,
Who will take me in?
Misshapen, but good!
There is some good!
I am ashamed.

By all accounts I am a twisted face,
Contorted by desire, smoothed by grace.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

24


I recently turned twenty-four and seeing as I haven’t posted anything and haven’t had the time to form long coherent thoughts, I thought I’d jot down 24 short thoughts. They’re all random, ranging from advice, revelations, thanksgiving, etc. Hopefully, I arranged them in an order that is easy to follow.

1) God’s will is more beautiful and intricate than I can imagine.

There once was a little boy who was sitting at the foot of his mother as she embroidered something on her lap. He looked at the design from were he sat, and seeing only the back grimaced at the knots and haphazard stitches. When she was done she turned it around. Elegant flowers he had never seen before graced the cloth’s surface. Her method had seemed strange, even ugly at times and yet there it was… Beauty was created by her hands.

2) Worry should be followed immediately by prayer… especially if you have an over active imagination.

Matthew 6:27- 34

"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil."

3) “God alone satisfies” (CCC 1718)

We all have this deep longing to be happy. Try giving God your whole heart. Not a piece you can spare and not just sometimes. See what happens.

4) God is an “and-and” sort of person. He wants us to love him and others and ourselves. He want us to better ourselves and take care of ourselves and amuse ourselves.

“There are only three good reasons why anyone should ever do anything: because it is moral, practical, or delightful… Of the three goods, moral goods clearly take precedence: it is not justifiable to sacrifice a moral duty for efficiency or pleasure” (Peter Kreeft, Catholic Christianity pg. 182-183)

5) Disney movies taught me to love wonder and innocence. They taught me that a good story can be told without gore and sensationalized sex. A few taught me to dress a little inappropriately… that’d be my only real complaint, the only downside to my Disney education. To this day I have a desire to walk around with a bare midriff like Jasmine, for no other reason than I like Jasmine.



6) You have no control over other people’s emotions or actions. Let those around you grow freely. If they can grow with you praise God. If not pray for strength and remember that prayer is a way to be present as your loved ones continue their path.

7) Adore God, love people and use things.

8) “It [Prudence] is not to be confused with timidity or fear” (CCC 1806)

I’m praying for courage to come along side my natural desire to want to be humble, so that I won’t be fearful but prudent.

9) I cannot possibly tell you how much you’re worth… actually I can. God loves you so much that he died for you. Don’t let any man or woman tell you that you deserve anything less than a loving relationship marked by the words, “ 'Till death do us part.” Do not give your body away for less.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body” 1 Cor 6:19-20

(also kudos to the witness of Dr. Francis Schaeffer)

10) Babies are so much fun! I’m glad because I’ve been told they’re also a lot of work.

11) Start taking care of your body ASAP. In fact start right now. Go take a walk around the block. You only get one.

12) If you want to make friends start saying hi to some people. I’m as shy as they come and I can tell you I’d never take back any awkward handshakes. The kindred spirits you meet make up for that in gold.

13) The Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis is a fantastic read. Whether you are familiar with the term “Spiritual Warfare” or not it is a vivid picture of the constant battles within our souls.

“Remember where you are: on a battlefield, not in an easy chair. If you are a Christian, you are a spiritual warrior” (Peter Kreeft, Catholic Christianity)

14) Envy is the only sin that never gives anyone any pleasure at all (Peter Kreeft, Catholic Christianity)

… but somehow I fall into that one pretty easy. I’m obviously not a very smart when I choose to sin.

15) Everything tastes better with butter.


16) True Perfection is reflecting the face of Christ.

17) Don’t ever think you can’t start over. Don’t ever think you’ve done too many bad things to be loved. You are loved. God has loved you since the day your life began and he loves you now. God does not love because you are free of sin but because he hopes to help you be free of sin.

18) Saints come in all shapes and sizes. The body of Christ is made up of many people and we all have a part to play. Each part is important and beautiful and unique. You are not meant to have every talent because you need to be reminded to look beside you and ask your brother or sister for help, so that you can realize that you are a part of a body, not one person fighting a battle. In our “I can take care of myself, thank you very much!" society we often forget that it is strength to ask for the help of others.



19) A little discomfort will keep you from getting too soft and lazy.

20) Societies have accepted slavery, infanticide and genocide as moral actions. Take a step back and have the courage to question your own society, especially what’s cool.

"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions." (G. K. Chesterton)

21) It’s a poor argument to say that Christianity is bad because someone failed to live up to Christian teaching. If you’re going to say Christianity is bad it should be because you think it’s teaching is bad not because it’s members are bad. (But by the way we are fully aware that we're bad... hence the need for someone to save us and forgive us... constantly)

(kudos to Marc Barnes @ BadCatholic )

22) You don’t believe in God? Try living as if he did and see what happens. What do you have too lost if it all means nothing in the end? You can begin by saying small prayers. Tell God your fears, hopes and worries, thank him for good things and acknowledge the beautiful things you see.

23) The greatest blessings I have received are my family and friends. They look at my drawings and follow my blogs and tell me when I’m being an idiot.

24) My mother got married when she was twenty-four and I have always thought of that age as the moment I would cross the threshold into adulthood… I hope to be a good grown-up...


... yeah...


Fin.

Friday, March 25, 2011

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 1)


-1-

I just finished watching the first season of Downtown Abbey. If you like miniseries done in the tradition of BBC's Pride and Predjudice you'll enjoy this! It is not for younger audiences, it's a little more adult than the softer renditions of Jane Austin novels! :)



-2-
If you want a kid-friendly series watch Avatar: The Last Airbender NOW. I mean it. It rocked my world and it will rock yours.


-3-
The best article I've read about sexuality in the last few months can be found here. And yes, a seventeen year old wrote this. Puts my teenage thoughts to shame.

-4-
I devoured this book in a couple of days. Whether you're single, in a relationship, confused or on the straight and narrow path this book is a fantastic read for any young woman. I ordered some in bulk so if you want one just send me a message and I'll send it to you by snail mail or by visiting you at your house! (I mean if you live close by and I've seen your face at least once).




-5-
IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS BOOK. YOU MUST.



-6-
If you are going to Mass and you are any of these things: confused, bored, doubting the miracle occurring before your very eyes, read this:


-7-
I just finished Luci (a character I'm developing) in her winter outfit! :D

~

Visit Jennifer Fulwiler @ http://www.conversiondiary.com

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Jesus, if you want it so do I!

Thank you everyone for your ideas! I'm especially looking forward to drawing during adoration, I never thought to do it before (merci Allison!). I think my next entry will be a fun little exploration of the Church Calendar and all it's colors, perfumes and feasts... Pie chart time! For now I leave you with the testimony of the beautiful Chiara Luce Bandano who continually challenges me with her witness and the simple phrase, "For you, Jesus. If you wish it, so do I!"



Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Fabi

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Requests!

Hey Guys! I've been wanting to write but I'm having trouble zeroing in on something specific... so many possibilities! So I was thinking I'd ask all of you to give me some of your ideas, or things you would like to read about. It can be anything really, as long as you don't ask me to write about lawnmowers (it would be a short). You can also make an art-related requests of course.

Have a truly blessed day!

Fabi